I know it’s been forever since I have blogged…

Life has been crazy busy for me, I have been all over the place. And life has just been crazy.

But, I have been wanting to put up a blog for a while, but couldn’t think of anything to blog about.
Tonight, I was talking with a friend (who is very crazy, by the way… and no, he doesn’t mind me saying so. -It’s a compliment to him, not an insult. As well it should be, being crazy, is awesome!) and I randomly said something very odd indeed. And the next thing I know, he’s basically daring me to post it as a blog! *shakes head*

So… this random post is for our friend Todd (from NW).

My random thought of the day…

Chocolate -nearly everyone’s favorite candy- is grown on trees, like fruits. It’s very healthy… really it is!
Flour, is a grain, and can reduce the risk of heart attacks.
Eggs, are chocked full of Vitamin D, and that helps strengthen your bones.
Milk, is basically liquid calcium!

So… if all of these are good for you… does that mean that we can classify Chocolate dough nuts as healthy?

Yes, you may take that to your doctor and try to stump him. (Or even try to convince your mom! Who knows… maybe she’ll agree) *laughs*

Have you ever had those moments of ‘I just really don’t belong here’? I had one yesterday…

I was at my neighbor’s house looking at her Yard/Porch Sale, she wears my sizes. We have been friends for *thinks hard* …about 9 years now. She’s a year and 1/2 younger than me, butthat really doesn’t change a whole lot at my age.

We’ve always known we aren’t exactly alike, she is more of a ‘worldly’ girl than I am; I would rather wear a garbage bag than wear some of the outfits she wears. I would rather befriend Frankenstein’s monster than have some of the friends she has. I would rather put my head in the toillette and listen to the water in it than have to listen to some of the music she listens to. I would rather eat soap than say some of the things that she says.
And yet all of the things she does is considered perfectly normal from a teenager, and the world expects teenagers to be like her.

Aside from all of our differences that we have, we still are friends. (Just not close)
Usually we don’t always disagree with things. However on several occassions I realize just HOW different we are… yesterday was one of them.

We were sitting there talking about some of the things we are doing this summer when a guy walked by with his dog.
We both looked over at him, smiled and nodded. (That’s how we say hello here. -Sometimes it’s a raised hand, other times it’s actually a verbal hello, but the most common is a head nodd.) He smiled and nodded back and walked on.

When he passed out of ear range we both said ‘Awwwwww, he’s so cute!’.
We both laughed that we said the same thing, “I know,” I said “I just love German Shephards, they are so adorable.”
She looked at me stunned. “NOT THE DOG! … I meant the guy.” she said in an irratated voice. (Like I was the idiot here.)

………
I’ve never, EVER thought that way about a guy before, and yet I’m looked at like the weirdo in the situation. I think we were both stunned at eachother’s responce, although we’ve known eachother long enough we should be used to it by now.
*sighs* I, yet again, realize that ‘I just don’t belong here’.

*laughs* YES! That is what has been keeping me busy for all this time! I have finally opened my new website Maidens Of Modesty.. with the help of some of my closest friends.

Please feel free to check it out at http://www.maidensofmodesty.com
And, if you wish, you can join the forum at http://www.maidensofmodesty.com/forum
(The forum really has content, it’s just hidden until you sign in. Just to let you know. -I’ve had several people ask my why it has no content.)

I hope you all enjoy it! Lemme know what you think!

In Christ’s love,
~Shadow

Keep reading…… (click on the ‘more’ button below)

(I was going to blog about Nashville and the conference -I had this WHOLE post ready to go- but then I realized… it would bore you all to death! It would only make sense to myself, Ryan, and maybe some of the other kids who were apart of it. -if they even read this- So… Instead, I decided to blog about something we can all relate to. )

I love to watch my baby sister. She is almost 18 months old, and the most head-strong baby you have ever met. (Hmmm. I wonder where she gets THAT from? Those of you who have spent any time with me IRL probably know that I am rather head-strong when I feel it’s worth it. -And it usually isn’t. ) She is also one of the cutest little baby boogers there ever were, with her curly reddish-blonde hair, and her cute little ‘baby walk’.
Watching her makes me feel old, reminds me of the way I was all the years ago when I was a child It’s even brought back memories that I didn’t think I had!
But more than that, she reminds me of the way I am NOW. Why you ask? Ah, good question. Lets get into that.

Squishy (my baby sister) loves to do things by herself. She loves to walk by herself -without holding anyone’s hand. She loves to say things for herslelf -most of which you cannot understand what she is asking for. She loves to play by herself -how can she do that with 6 other siblings, I have no clue. She loves to eat by herself -ugh, what a mess that makes. She loves to put her clothes on by herself -”No, your pants go on your legs, not your head”. She loves to do YOUR chores by herself -Oi! Dishes go in the pantry, not in your toy bin!
She is just VERY indipendant. (Like most babies are) If she doesn’t want to be picked up, she’ll tell you!

HOWEVER! If you cut up an apple, or open a box of Graham Crackers, or if you bring out the box of Cheerios she suddenly decides that she wants you and your attention.

What does this have to do with a lesson? you ask. Ahhh, another good question! You’re very incitive.

The other day while watching her go through her ‘Ooooo, Crackers, I now want you to hold me. Aren’t I cute?’ routine. I realized how much I almost felt used by her, granted she is a baby, but if she were older I would be truly offended. Then I though… “How often do I do that to someone else?” or worse yet… “How often do I do that to God?”
You see, we as Christians usually consider God as our ‘last resort’. When we are wanting something, or are in trouble THAT’S when we turn to Him. We are so concentrated on doing our own thing and being indipendant, that we don’t take the time to actually spend time with God. To create a one-on-one relationship with Him. To truly stop and tell Him that we love him and want to serve Him.

*sighs* Do you remember in Matthew 7:20-23 where Jesus talks about people saying to him “Did we not cast out demons in Your name?! Did we not prophesy in Your name?! Did we not even do miricles in Your name?!” where upon He will turn to them and say “I never knew you. Depart from me, you who practice lawlessness.”

People, He is not talking about those of you who have just asked Him into your heart, and do good things, and never swear, and never drink, and go to church every Sunday and even on some Holidays. He is talking about actually KNOWING you!!!! Spending time with you! Listening to you talk to Him, and not just when something bad has happened, but ALL the time! And being your best friend! HE is the one you should come to first when you are excited about something, not some friend who you can call up on your free nights and weekends. And HE is the one who you should come to first when something horrible has happened, and not to complain at Him, but to truly pour your heart out to Him, to confide in Him, to be your best friend!
THAT is knowing Him. Coming to Him first, talking to Him, listening to Him, loveing Him, and learning from Him. That is how we knowing Him.
Reading about Him is good! But it’s not all, you need to talk to Him and listen to His heart as well.

So to conclude, I am challanging you all to take 20 minutes today (yes, 20 minutes!) to set aside to talk to and listen to God. No phones, they need to be turned off. No iPod or music in the background. No TV in the other room. No laptop to check email every now and then, or even the occassional game of Solitaire. Just you and Him.
If you need to go on a walk so that you are in the park by yourself. Lock yourself up in the bathroom if you have to, I don’t care! Just do it!

And I don’t mean 20 minutes of asking Him for things, or complaining to Him that the toilet is not working and that He should do something about it. I mean 20 minutes of you talking and listening to Him like you would your best friend on the phone.

I assure you, it’s worth your time. -Especially since HE is the one who is in charge of that time, He gave it to you and could take it away just as easily. Try this for at LEAST a week. And if you can, take more than 20, try for 30, 40, 50, or even an hour. I assure you, the more time you spend with Father and the closer you get to Him, the easier the ‘hard things in life’ will get. Seriously, knowing Him makes your life SO much easier. And there is no point where you ‘know Him well enough already’, so don’t even try to delude yourself with that thought, that’s a lie from the pit of Hell.

So….
Talk, listen, and become close. That is to know Him.

My lands, I wish I could sumerize my entire week in one short blog, but I can’t! Not even kind of! Not unless I cut out tons of details… which I won’t.

I’ll try to explain it in several blogs, but no promises.

But to be honest, this conference has SERIOUSLY changed my life. I will truly never be the same. I have been AMAZED at what God has done for us, and what He has planned for us. (We have been blessed to see a wee bit of what He wants for us -or at least it looks that way, if He wants to change our future, then so be it!)

All this has made me realize how much of a passion I have for teens (girls especialy) and ministry. *sighs* So I will announce (something I didn’t want to announce yet, but I feel like I have to) that I will be creating a Christian Teen ministry site soon. I am working on it as I type. It should be working within a month or so.
If anyone has any interest in a) helping me. or b) participating in this PLEASE contact me. You can do that either here, or through NW or even at maidensformodesty (at) gmail (dot) com. (-keeping it so that I don’t get spammed by spambots.-) I’d love to have help, and I really would like to work with people who have a heart for teen ministry.

That’s all for now. Email me if you are interested please!
In Christ alone,
~Shadow

God has been amazing us more and more. He has been teaching us to completely rely on Him for everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. There is no small detail that passed His sight. (Although I did not doubt that there was, I still am amazed at His taking care of said details.)

To get right down to it -I’m going to Tennessee! Make that WE are going to Tennessee! To this amazing conference that I wanted to go to before, the one that Ryan and his mom invited us to go to with them.
It’s a business conference that will (honestly) change my/our lives forever.

After this, I don’t think that I will ever live the same way. I will (or at least try with all my heart to) ALWAYS trust in God and NEVER think that even the smallest detail is too little for Him to take care of. I will never try to do things in my own strength (as wimpy as that is), but in His. (Of which I cannot even try to fathom.)

This has been one of the most impacting weeks of my life, watching God work everything out one by one, detail by detail, piece by piece, person by person, to get us to TN.

To be honest, it will be odd at first, I won’t know anyone (except Ryan and his mom of course) but I doubt that will stop me from talking to some of these people.   You NEVER know who you will bump into at these conferences.  Even though they may look like ‘every day people’, that doesn’t mean that they don’t have their own million dollar empire. (Even at my age.) *laughs*
Starting your own business is serious, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with it. I truly cannot wait until we leave, and I truly cannot wait to get started on my own businesses.

So to conclude…. First I want to say that I will be gone from Wednesday until next Tuesday. I will try to update next Wednesday, but no promises.
And second  I just want to say..  “PRAISE BE TO GOD! May He always guide us where He wants us to go, and keep surprising us in His amazing timing. THANK YOU FATHER! I am BEYOND blessed and honored to be chosen for this task that You have for me. -Amen!”

Looking at these pics remind me, yet again, of the majesty of God. If these small little flowers can impress us, how much more will He impress us with His beauty?

Just a random thought. Here are a few pics from it.

If you would like any other pics, please let me know. I have PLENTY more. (I also have a few that I am not too keen on sharing with the public, but would be more than glad to share them with you as a person. )

Take care everyone! I’ll update again soon.
*hugs to all*
~Shadow

P.S. These pics are NOT touched up in anyway, they are a true likeness in beauty. *sighs*
Another thing. Please do not copy or use my pics without my permission. They are copyrighted by me. I doubt that you (my friends) would, but I wanted to make sure that everyone else who…. well might be snooping understands.

*sighs and burries her head in her hands* I am really a lousy sister. Must keep track of the baby.
Do not worry, she is not a tiny baby we are talking about a soon to be 16 month old here. She CAN eat chocolate, but I’d just rather she didn’t.
Oh, and I removed what chocolate she had in her mouth.

Mum shall be very surprised, and delighted I’m sure, when she comes home to a chewed up wad of chocolates for her! How lovely!

Thanks for reading everyone!
*hugs*
~Shadow

I would not have as much of a problem with that discussion going on in the bathroom if we were at a public school, or a movie theatre, or even if we were out in a store. But a church?????!!!! What is wrong with this? Why are these ‘young ladies of God’ babbling on about boys in the bathroom in CHURCH???? Actually why are they talking about them like that at all?

I’m not saying that I don’t have guy friends, I’m not even saying that I don’t talk about them. I DO have guy friends, and I DO talk about some of them, but NOT like that. They are not ‘possible boyfriends’ to me. They are brothers in Christ. Why is the church not teaching this? Why are these kid’s parents not teaching this? Why is this not a normal thing? Why is it expected of me to look at my brothers in Christ and see them in a romantic way? Does this not creep anyone else out but me?
*sigh*

I guess that’s enough complaining from me for now. I have a million other thoughts on this subject, but for now I shall keep them to myself. I’ll bring it up again some other day when I have more time.

So to close I would like to say something to my guy friends;
My dear brothers, please forgive me if I have even so much as appeared as if I was interested in you in another way than just being siblings. I do love you all, but not in that way. I appreciate your friendship and your encouragement when you give it. But I cannot see you as anything else than a brother in Christ.
I would like to be so audacious to ask that you would be kind enough to return the favor and see me as nothing more than a sister in Christ.

And to my gal friends;
Please I beg you with all my heart, do NOT ruin any relationship you have with a fellow brother in Christ by looking at your relationship through a romantic eye. You have no idea how much that could hurt a good friendship with your brother. I have heard that it is really hard to not do so, but I am asking you to put forth the effort to remain pure for your future husband and wait for God to bring him, instead of looking for him through your group of friends.

Well that’s all for now everyone, thanks for listening.
*hugs to you all*
~Shadow

Yesterday (Sunday) we had 2, 3 hour long, meetings at an old church, tonight we have another one, and Tuesday we have the last one.
Wednesday is our ‘play’ and the public tea party. Not interested in either one. But I have to do it anyway. I’ve got a part in the play. (*clears throat* Only a few people know about that….. and uh, well… who I play.)
Thursday is Women’s bible study, and we crash Thursday afternoon and have another meeting Thursday night.
Friday is something big… I just don’t remember. And I don’t remember what Saturday is. *sighs*
This is just what is scheduled. Tons of other things pop up during the day. (You know… life)

Now… onto topic.

While we were at an old church this week I was saddened by what their teenagers behavior and that it was accepted as ‘normal’. As a church they should be encouraging teens to remain pure. Not to hang all over each other and flirt with anyone who you consider ‘cute’.

[Starts into a story]
While I was in the women’s restroom waiting for my little sisters to hurry up 2 young bubble headed ditzy chicks came into the restroom giggling and chatting.
The one (who, by the way, went into the stall) said “And I KNEW they were talking about me” *annoying giggle* “Awww, I just think that ‘so-n-so’ is SOOOOOO cute especially after he said that about me” (I didn’t catch the name I was too busy trying to keep from regurgitating from the overdose of giggly maniacs) The other one, who seemed to have a bit more sense than a microwave… unlike the first one, said “Yeah, he is pretty sweet”

The ‘stall-girl’ then changed the subject and said “Yeah, but you know Dane’s dad? Well he is SOOOOO scary. Every time I see him I get scared. * annoying giggle* I won’t talk to him.” The microwave girl asked her why that was, to which she replied “I don’t know, he just is scary to me.”

[pause story] Now please understand, this is an old church of mine. I had gone to that church for 4 years before we left. I know Dane, and his dad. I like talking to Dane’s dad. He is very smart, he is exceptionally nice, and he loves to talk to teens, and he wants to listen to what you say. He is also one of the few people who I can have an intelligent conversation with at that church. Aside from that, when she mentioned Dane, I realized that if she is even close to Dane’s age she must be 13 – 15! We’re not talking about someone my age people! We’re talking about YOUNG kids. [back to story]